Happiness is

Annoyed with me because I was sarcastic, she writes, "I hope you can move on and find happiness" which is not really the sincere wish like it sounds. It is her way of telling me she doesn't want any interference. She wants me to have as little involvement with our daughter as possible, maybe move to another continent. She knows how to push my buttons and by implying that I am stagnant and sour.

Well, yes, I admit I am stagnant and sour at times. It's hard not to feel some bitterness during all this, and certainly that comes out clearly in this blog. But the truth is, most of the time I'm enjoying myself and having a great time with my daughter. I rarely think of lightning strikes and other acts of God. I had a blast at Thanksgiving with my brothers. It is only when something related to the Ex happens that I fire up the computer and write angry things here. The rest of the time is much more enjoyable.

But it is interesting how she wishes that I find happiness, because at the moment of reading it, I thought of a lot of scenarios that would have brought me happiness but would also have landed me in jail for 10 to 20. And I am sure that this is not the happiness she wishes.

I think it is true that you really have to have a hand in making happiness. It is a hard thing to just stumble upon. Unless you are her. She is an expert at finding happiness, tapping it's vein, and bleeding it dry. She feasts on happiness and leaves only carcasses behind. She is the Happiness Vampire. She consumes it but rarely produces it. (I hope that doesn't sound too bitter.)

Perhaps the Beatles were right when they sang, "And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make... unless you are the greedy ex."

OK. I feel better. Now I'll go do happy things. It's time for us to put up the Christmas stuff.