A Very Odd Christmas

It is Christmas Morning. Our 5 year-old has just finished her gift-opening frenzy and has settled down with Baby Alive to see if she can feed her. It has been a fun Christmas for her and I'm glad for that. Just seeing her enjoy it all is the best.

But what is a blog without the half empty glass?

I say it is an odd Christmas because it is a little weird sitting there in the living room next to your wife who is leaving you. The whole divorce process is longer than I thought and it will take 3-4 months for her money to show up so that she can actually leave. So she has left me, but is still in the house with me.

Of course, I would much prefer that she commit to counseling and reconciliation. But she has decided that repairing a relationship and preserving a family is not worth it. Besides, she has new friends who encourage her drinking habit.

So we sit there for the daughter's sake. And it is successful. But I am weirded out by the fact that she has bought me gifts. We've been bickering about settlement terms, custody, retirement funds, etc. for months. She knows I am angry that she is jumping ship without trying to fix the leak. But she buys me little gifts.

Of course I took our daughter out and let her buy her mother whatever she wanted. Which was kinda fun because my 5-year-old picked out things like a bathtub duck, shampoo, and lip gloss. All wonderful gifts for a very picky, high-maintenance, woman. But she did accept them with feigned excitement.

But it is as if I am watching a play. I sit there, watching as my wife, my daughter, and my angry step-daughter all enjoy another Christmas, not letting on that this is our last one together. Next year it will be a matter of different houses, gifts, and an appointed time to exchange the child. Yuck. But I play my part as well, in this play. I do my best acting. Isn't this great?!

Yet I am ok. I am profoundly thankful for all the magical Christmases I had as a boy with two very loving parents. And when my father died when I was only 9, the following Christmases were perhaps even more special, because my 3 brothers and I all appreciated and valued our family more than most kids our age. We knew from experience how important a parent is, and how easy it is to take them for granted. We were closer. And our mother made every Christmas a wonderful time of fun, whether we had lots of presents or just a few. (Seems like there were lots).

So Christmas Past was great. Christmas Present has a good side. But it is also the first time for a few things. I lost my 94 year-old aunt in October. She was my father's sister and I had been managing her affairs for the last 10 years. She was a terrific lady and a very loving aunt.

On December 4th I had to put my dog to sleep, a sheltie that had been my faithful and loyal companion for the last 15 years. He was my pal and thoughtful friend all those times that my wife was out "getting her drink on" as she says. His dogly affection was unconditional, and I sure miss him.