A rough start

I never dated much. Usually had steady girlfriends so I didn't experience much of the dating scene. And when I met a Gorgous blonde at work who was almost single, I fell in love.

It was bad form, on my part, to be involved with her at all. People told me that, but I didn't have enough sense to acknowledge my usual morals. Besides, she told me that she was getting divorced even if she hadn't met me.

We moved in together. We had some good times, and we had some crazy arguments that often started with "I saw you glance at that waitress" and led to name calling on both sides. Those times were unpleasant.

I am basically a kinda passive guy that prefers peace. I'll walk an extra block to avoid a confrontation. But when backed into a corner when I feel that something wasn't fair, I can be stubborn. I have no problem saying I'm sorry when the smoke clears if my position was shaky. But I can also stick to my guns if I am sure of myself and what is just.

I try hard to detatch myself from a situation and be objective. And I recognize that it isn't always possible. I sometimes go to extremes to evaluate and question my motives and my actions in the interest of being objective.


We lived together for years on this rollercoaster.
Things would be OK, then I would hear Twilight Zone music in the air and Jamie would say, "Why were you talking to the secretary???"

Oh no. Of course I was talking to the secretary (who is married, a serious church lady, has kids, and although nice, she is nothing like my type) because she works with me. She does my paperwork. I give her stuff that gets filed and stamped and then shredded. The secretary loves her husband and that suits me fine.

But this would explode into terrible accusations about my loyalty. And believe me, I am a One-Woman guy. Never thought about straying.

We would agrue. She would become upset and terribly unreasonable. I would become angry. We would both slam a few doors. And then go to bed silently. The next day we would laugh about it, maybe a little.

This was the routine for years. It got tired after a while. I tried as best I could to resolve these problems. I tried to talk about it, but she would get angry and immediately it was a fight again. I tried to get us to make lists of the issues. I tried to open up to her to show her that there was no reason to be jealous of me and the girl at McDonald's. But she was VERY insecure.

I understand insecurity. And I understand a need to possess, but this was crazy. We argued at length about it. I lost contact with friends and saw family much less, or else she would be angry. My pet ferret had to live outside, my friend Bob could not come over. It was ridiculous and the resentment on both sides built and built.