The Counselor Calls Me

My ex has been taking my daughter to a counselor because she thinks I am making her dislike her mother's living arrangements--which is definitely not true. So she defied the court order requiring her to include me in such decisions, and took her to this counselor.

"Miss Jane," as my daughter calls her, is forever asking about Daddy and Daddy's house. "She never asks about Mommy, only Daddy and what does Daddy say." My daughter notices the lopsidedness of it all, without any prompting whatsoever. Looks very much like what happened with the last husband. He was alienated over time, made fun of, and generally dismissed as the father of her first daughter. And if the daughter was difficult, then it was obviously his fault.

I've avoided this counselor, until she got me on the phone. She wants me to come in so she can tell me how much trouble I'm in. It's like being called to the principal's office, except that she bills my insurance for it. I told her I might be able to make it, but it would have to be on Thursday. I was hoping she would not be able to fit me in, and I could miss it entirely. I could still say that I tried, but would avoid the ambush.

She scheduled me for Thursday.

Now I have to go in there and be nice. I can't be too defensive or I will be accused of being uncooperative. I can't admit being a jerk, or my ex will use it all against me in court to get more time. So I have to listen to her, and then tactfully tell her what really goes on, if I can remember it all under pressure.

Shacking Up

Tonight I picked up my daughter from school and she told me about the first week of living at the boyfriend's house. She says, "I get tired of it and want to go home lots of times." She tells me, "Mr. Mark is loud and he isn't very polite. He says bad words and I don't think you would like him."

I'm sure she will get used to it all, but I am disappointed that she has to live in that environment. Her mother and this guy were both born to party. It is like she living in Animal House. I really didn't want her growing up like her mother.

But I try to lighten it up. "Well, Mommy should be able to afford more things now," I said, remembering that her mother told her she couldn't buy any new toys until she found a job.

"She should have lots of money," my daughter says. "Mommy doesn't pay for anything except food and clothes."

I had to laugh because that is EXACTLY how it was for 14 years with me. And during that time, we were married and she had a job! Paying for things is beneath her.