She Jettisons the Pod

Last night, Saturday, I hadn't planned on going out. I wanted to hang with my daughter instead. If I didn't stay with her, my wife would drop her at the neighbors as she is layering her makeup on while heading out to drink.

But she has learned something. A few weekends ago I jettisoned the pod and left her home with our daughter. She had to scramble to find a babysitter before her first martini was served. But this time my wife wasn't taking any chances. So while I was on the phone at 4PM, she took off in her car with her teenager clone daughter. "The baby is taking a nap," I heard her say as she drove out of sight, her voice trailing off in the distance. The two blond idiots had made their escape. I figured it was too early to escape and perhaps they were just going shopping, but no, that was it. It was the earliest pod launch I have seen.

At 9:30 the teenage mutant daughter stopped by to get her overnight stuff, but my wife was not with her. And now that I think about, my wife was not dressed up as usual when she abandoned ship. Just her jeans and a jacket. No top made out of tangled string.

Perhaps she had a change of clothes elsewhere, or perhaps she was staying home elsewhere.

My daughter and I had fun while her mother was getting her groove on. We watched TV, made dinner, played the piano, and she took a bath before I tucked her in to bed. It was a great evening, just the two of us.

But the night was fitful as usual. I would wake up every time I thought I heard a car. And this time I thought I would take a picture of her stumbling through the door, or at least a picture of the car that would drop her off. I woke up just before dawn and she was still gone. Her bed was empty and the light was still on.

I got the camera and waited by the window. She had to be home soon. Like a vampire, she ducks inside when the first rays hit her bleached hair. But I waited and she did not come home. I watched the newspaper guy careen by winging papers out of his van, I saw the neighbor take her kids somewhere, and I saw all the birds and squirrels wake up. But no wife. Eventually I went back to bed for a little while.

We missed church. I was too tired from no sleep, and the clocks were all wrong because we are now saving daylight. It would be a mad rush to church and that only reminds me of my wedding.

My daughter and I got up, had breakfast and played...until the peace was broken by the teenager coming home at 11:00 AM. She was on the phone with her mother, who was calling for a ride. Funny. The 18 year old daughter has to go pick up her 41 year old mother who has been out all night. They were both out all night. And although I do have a soft spot for them both, I would be happy if they never came back.

But they did. They returned at noon, with the sun shining brightly. They said nothing. Both looked a little worn out, and I suspect both had hangovers. My daughter, however, hugged them both and didn't think anything was weird about the two of them not coming home on Saturdays.

But once they were home, I was confined to the basement, where I prepared numbers for an accountant to review. This week I am getting a real accountant to figure the settlement amount and I am telling my lawyer to file the court papers. I've decided that I'm done negotiating. It is time to get on with it.