Storm Brewing

I've been going on and on about how she keeps hinting or threatening about suing me for more child support. She asks for more and I give it to her. But then she continues to chase me. Well, today there was a letter in my mailbox from her lawyer. I took the letter inside and, with shaking hands, tore it open.

It was not a letter to me, but an invoice for her. The lawyer sent it to her old address and I didn't notice who it was addressed to. The bill is for $45 for the lawyer's time to forward to my ex a "letter from Mallin to Court." What does that mean?

Who is Mallin? And why did they send a letter to the court?? I researched on the Internet and found a local divorce attorney. Apparently he has been retained by my ex-wife for something.

Now it could be that she is using Mr. Mallin for some other matter, possibly involving husband #2 or child #1, and just maybe the letters went to the wrong attorney who then billed the Him v. Her account she had. Maybe it has nothing to do with me.

But the does seem like a long shot. She is obviously up to something and pretty soon I will be told what it is.

This was kind of distressing. I'm just making ends meet and if she doubles the child support (because she is unemployed and has been since April) I won't be able to make mortgage payments. I'd probably have to move, and this is not a good time to move. My house equity has decreased to the value of an old pair of shoes.

And I REALLY like my house and neighborhood and don't want to move.

Of course, when we go to court I will try to argue that she could be doing more to get a job, and certainly should be making a lot of money. But the economy is her alibi. Everyone seems to be out of work. Optimistically, maybe the judge would have mercy on me and maybe the amount wouldn't actually double. Who knows.

In the meantime I am drinking.

Recently I upped the child support voluntarily, first by 12% and then another 5%. I've paid the extra bills she has forwarded to me, bought clothes, and even sent her groceries for school lunches. But her fierce sense of entitlement isn't swayed. For this is what she told me when I mentioned that taking my retirement was unfair. "I'm entitled to it," she said.

She bugged me for more money a few weeks ago and I upped the weekly checks. When I asked her how she is paying for her new car and new house she told me that she cashed out all 6 figures of the retirement money and has been spending that. And that was what she was doing all last summer when she spent every afternoon at the pool. What took me 10 years to earn and save, she burned through in one year. And she paid 38% in taxes and penalties on it. Now that that money is gone, she needs more. And she is entitled to take it from whichever husband has it.

I want to call her up and say, "Dooood. You win. You got me. I am defeated. Stop picking at my bones."

Meanwhile she is trying to sell her new house so she can move in with the boyfriend. That is good and bad, Maybe it would take some financial pressure off her, but it would put my daughter in a very undesirable environment. My ex and her boyfriend are serious partiers and drinkers. Not a good home for my daughter.

Alas, I'll take another sedative and wait for the official word. I will save my income tax return money so that I can pay my lawyer. And I have canceled everything extra, including the dog.






Epilogue

I called my lawyer and he agreed that we will have to wait and see what this is all about. He thinks it could be a different problem of hers or maybe she really is as greedy as I think she is. He advises me to be generous with her. Give her extra money, clothes, blood--whatever it takes to keep her from going to court.

Then my lawyer did some ballpark figures for me based on what he thinks the court would establish as her income. He thinks the court would "impute" her income and say it is about $40,000. Using that figure, I would pay about $70 more per week than before.

That adds up quickly, but it doesn't make me sell my house--only my heater. So I feel better already. One call to my lawyer and one sedative seems to work well.