Some Clues That a Relationship Might Not Succeed

Clue # 231
After she finally allows you to have your mother and friends over for dinner, she leaves the house as soon as they arrive, creating an awkward moment.

Clue # 198
During the hot summer days, when you get home from work, your miniature collie is outside panting, waiting for someone to let him back into the air conditioning.

Clue # 225
When you drive the family to TGIF for dinner, and find that the wait is too long for her, she tells you that you picked that restaurant on purpose because you hate her and her daughter. Then her daughter asks you why you hate her.

Clue # 579
You tell her that you are picking up your daughter on Wednesday instead of the usual day. When she asks why, you tell her it is because it is November 14th. “So?” she asks. After 15 years she forgets what day is your birthday.

Clue # 379
You get her presents and a cake for her birthday but don’t get her a cake for the office because her coworkers already got her two cakes, and she becomes angry that you are so thoughtless.

Clue # 58
You buy her a diamond ring for your engagement and she takes it back so you can buy her a larger one, maxing out two credit cards.

Clue # 706
She tells you that she can’t go with you to see her favorite band because she gets claustrophobic in the arena. Then two weeks later she goes to the same arena with a friend to see a show.

Clue # 344
Your friend and neighbor asks you over for New Year’s Eve and you check with the wife. She says that is fine, but then goes out with her friends. Apparently, it was fine that you go to the neighbors’ because she had other plans.

Clue # 752
In 15 years she never says, “You look nice.” However her mother calls you “a lowdown bastard,” while staying at your house.

Clue # 192
Your wife wins a trip for two to Las Vegas, but when you expect to go with her, she decides to cancel. She won't go unless it is with a friend.

Clue # 329
Needing a box for something, she takes the two lamps that had belonged to your mother and throws them out so that she can use the box they were stored in. Later she denies it all.

Clue # 15
While you are having cheeseburgers at the Rugby Inn with Pete and Ken, she storms in and tells you that you must leave and that bars are only for picking up girls. Finally she gets into a fight with the waitress who tells her she must get out for causing a disturbance.

Clue # 137
You see stars when she clobbers you from behind with a vase as you are walking downstairs.

Clue # 249
She sells your car while you are at work.

Clue # 250
She keeps the money she received from selling your car.