The Puppy

I had this idea that I would invite random people to come live with me for a while. People who make their presence known from the other side of the house, using various sounds and smells. I thought this would encourage my ex-wife and her adult daughter to find another place to live.

But I didn't do it. I wasn't sure exactly what it would take to encourage the random people to move out after their job was done. I imagine it would take something very loud and very smelly, and then perhaps I would be gone too.

My ex had another idea. She brought home a puppy from the pet store. It is an adorable puppy that yips and runs and plays. He also pees a lot too. He pees on the carpets in my house. He leaves behind his mark that will probably be there long after they all move into the new house that is being built with my retirement savings.

She gets my retirement. I get the urine carpets.

But I said nothing. Nothing, that is, until I discovered that the boat storage reservation form had been shredded. The owner of the boat yard asked me why I wasn't storing my boat with him this winter. You see, I had never sent him a deposit or reservation form. And if I have to find another boatyard at the last minute, it will cost much more money.

I explained to Jack that much of my mail has been converted to confetti, and I never got his mail. Luckily he had two more slots for storage and so I signed the papers on the spot.

When I got home I told my ex that this is getting out of hand. My brother is down $180 because of this recycling, but this could have cost me a thousand dollars or more.

She looked at me with disgust and said, "You are going to be bitter to the very end, aren't you?"

I thought about it... She is right. I am too bitter. I should be much more pleased with the fact that my mail gets shredded and that my ex-wife is still living here without paying me rent. I should be thankful for this. I guess I just don't appreciate some things.

In the meantime my brother calls and says that there should have been a debit card in the mail, but there isn't. Apparently it has been dispatched by the people I support.

To avoid this in the future, I have submitted all the proper forms to have my mail forwarded to a more friendly home, and my friend will hopefully save it for me.

The Renaissance and Cleavage Festival
I spent last weekend at my brother's house. It was a wonderful getaway and the weather was beautiful. We went to the Maryland Renaissance and Cleavage Festival and enjoyed all the sights and shows. It was a little unnerving at first to see so many medieval people in one place, but we all enjoyed it immensely.

Afterward there was the weekly neighborhood party/picnic/barbecue--A big shout-out and Thank You to Theresa and Jim! [I never liked crabs much, in fact they always scared me as a kid, so I kinda enjoyed watching everyone beat them to pieces with mallets.]

So in the end the weekend was a success. My daughter loved it too, and luckily the house was still standing when we got home.