What Are You Really Angry About?

I looked in the attic, the basement and each room in between. I could not find my $80 humidifier that I bought last winter. As I searched and searched I got more irritated. It seems like something is missing every time I turn around. And then I think of those neighborhood husbands that helped her load all my stuff into that pod like it was the last helicopter out of Saigon.

Finally I called her. "Hi, I was hoping you could help me. I'm trying to find that humidifier."

She told me right off that she doesn't have it and wouldn't ever take it.

"Then maybe you could help me find the missing Christmas Tree, ceiling fan (in a box), and a big bucket of loose change." These are all items that escaped in the pod and are worth about $800 total.

She dismisses my complaint and then says, "What are you really angry about?"

Apparently, being ripped off is not sufficient as a reason. Apparently, losing various household items on top of half your retirement and all your cash is not enough to be angry about. I guess she just can't relate.

Perhaps if I took her makeup, rap music, and Wet Seal outfits she would understand.

She is rather good at dismissing your objection and changing the subject. "Yes... I heard you say something, but what are you really angry about? Certainly there must be something meaningful in all this."

No matter. I told her to forget it. I'm not interested in arguing.


So now, she is telling me that she wants more time on weekends than the agreement allows, and she wants more money for extracurricular activities that are supposed to be included in my child support payment.

The problem is that she is not used to getting child support and using it for the child. For 15 years she got child support for her first daughter, but I paid all the housing expenses. Seems like I should get credit for that somehow.


Anyway, I see another battle brewing on this time and money thing. She told me that we are just going to have to change the weekend schedule. Simple as that. She is in charge. I am expected to comply.

I did tell her that I will gladly let her come early on a Saturday if she has something planned for our daughter. I was thinking of special occasions. But she came and got her early last Saturday so she could take her to the mall to shop.


Now I am not so inclined to accommodate her. I plan on being reasonable, but perhaps I should stick to the agreement for now.