Happy Christmas (War is Over?)

Had some good friends over on Saturday and it was a great time. I thought it was just a casual get-together, which it was, but it was also a feast. Apparently word got out that I have little food and no ornaments (which is true) because both showed up in large amounts. Friends from work brought all the major food groups, potent beverages, and Christmas tree decorations. It was a real party. (Sorry Rob couldn't make it)

The funniest thing, perhaps, was that Sarah and Tina brought single ornaments. Each brought an over-sized ball. Now I have two.

Anyway, we all ate and drank and laughed. Dale brought his Dance Dance Revolution which is like Twister on heart-exploding drugs. It was fun, although I could not keep up with someone who just had major parts of his knee replaced.

I called it all a success, and I am so thankful that everyone came. Now I have cheesecake, sandwiches, pork, meatballs, ziti, fruit, pecan pie, apple pie, champagne and vodka that will provide me with many lunches.

Christmas Parenting Time
My ex and I agreed to the standard--One of us gets Christmas Eve, the other gets Christmas Day and night--deal. But who goes first?

She told me that she wanted Christmas Eve. I said OK and made plans for Christmas Eve without my daughter and Christmas dinner with my daughter. And when she changed her mind about it all, I was not home to get my daughter on Christmas Eve, which is right now. So I don't know exactly what to expect tomorrow (Christmas), except...

My ex asked me for a favor. She wants to come over on Christmas morning and watch our daughter open the gifts she gets at my house. She says that this is best for the child because it will lower her stress.

Hmm.

I'm not sure if my daughter's stress level will be lowered by watching her father burn a hole in her mother with only his eyes. I'm just not sure if the whole Christmas Reunion Special is best right now. Perhaps there should be one of those cooling off periods that they require when you try to buy a gun at K-Mart.

I spent a year trying to get my ex to leave and then she wants to come back for Christmas?

In my opinion, our daughter would love to see us together. She used to try to make us hold hands not long ago. And having us together may bring false hope or confuse her as to what has become of the family.

And honestly, I think my ex-wife has suddenly realized that her daughter is disappointed that her family has split. My ex never before thought it would matter one way or the other. She honestly thought that the little girl wouldn't notice. She even told me once that her two drinking friends were more important than the "family". And now she is trying to soften her guilt a little by pretending that the family is intact. She wants to believe that everything is OK and that she didn't really ruin everything for her daughter. She is leading the band while the Titanic sinks.

I would prefer that our daughter have a great Christmas with her mom, and then come over here and have another great time. Maybe someday we could spend time together; either when I am completely senile, or when I have married a Playmate of the Year. Either way I would be comfortable with it all.

And then there is church. She only attended our church a handful of times because I dragged her there. I was baptized there in 1963 and have belonged ever since. I take our daughter there every other Sunday. My Ex showed up there for our wedding, my mother's funeral, and a few Christmases. Now she is going to take our daughter there for Christmas Eve service tonight.

That makes it uncomfortable for me. Do I sit with them and pretend to have an inspirational moment? Do I sit somewhere else? Or do I go to Al's house for a few drinks instead?

I suppose it is my bitterness, but you'd think that if you cheated on your husband, strung him along for 2 years implying that any day now you were going to start "trying" to be married; you would think that you would have a hard time showing up at his church (where you promised God that you would be faithful and loving). But she has no such problem with it all.

Yeah, church is all about forgiveness and redemption, but I don't think she wants either of those. I think she just likes the music. And she wants to show her daughter that she is a wonderful mother.

So I decided to go to Al's. We didn't sing or anything, but at least I wasn't sitting next to my ex-wife holding a lit candle. Who knows where that would have led?

I expect that Christmas morning, with my ex-wife and young daughter here, will be interesting. I'll probably be sitting in the corner not saying much and not able to put on the same kind of Academy Award acting that she is capable of. But I will try to get some pictures of it all for posting here.


Anyway, aside from that whole fiasco, I am having a wonderful time in my bachelor pad. I've bought a couch, some lamps, and a Dust Buster. I have broken out lots of little things that I was not allowed to bring up from the basement. I rescued my Schindler's List of personal possessions that were hidden in Pete's basement and have set them out throughout the house. Pretty soon I am going to clean up that 1920's projector and put it on the coffee table!