She Won't Sign the Deed

It's been several years now, and she still won't sign the quitclaim deed that she was ordered to sign in the divorce agreement.  The agreement was that I would keep the house (that was never in her name anyway) and she would sign a quitclaim deed to keep the title clear for future transactions. She doesn't really have any claim to the house anyway, but a bank would want to see that in writing with her signature.   If I ever want to sell or refinance, I would need that deed to get title insurance.

I delivered a deed to her in 2008, which she did not sign.  I recently decided to refinance and again asked her to sign the deed, and once again she is reluctant.   Now she has a list of things she wants in return for the deed that she is required to sign.  She wants:   a bicycle I bought but she used, all pictures of our daughter, all videos or our daughter, a wooden box with baby mementos, and some of my blood.

OK she doesn't really want the blood, but she does want the other things.  As for the pictures and videos, I am in the process of digitizing lots of them and I figured I would give her (or our daughter) all this stuff.  The baby box is mine and it only has a lock of hair and a hospital bracelet in it.  I'm sure I could find a way to share it, but why respond to extortion?  Why do I always have to give her something?  The deed is not a negotiation.  She must do it. The title company seems genuinely surprised that she refuses to sign.

With every item of contention in our long battle, I had to give in, and only once did she have to sacrifice.  That was with the school thing.  I seemed to come out ahead on that one.  (Actually our daughter came out ahead on that one.)

My ex refused to contribute to any household bills or mortgage while we were married.  Yet I paid her for half the house and gave her half my retirement, and settled for less than half of our daughter's time.  And now I have to give her a bicycle and other crap just to get the deed that she is supposed to have signed three years ago???

No.  I don't think so.  I don't owe her anything.

I told her that I need the deed. And if she wants the other stuff, then return what she took from me: my gold ring (which she later sold) $500 cash, and the wedding album with my family in it.  Those things were stolen from me, but I've written them off.  I don't try to hold them over her head.  But if she is going to attach conditions to the deed, then I want those things back too.

Don't be bitter she says, as she is holding the deed hostage for stuff.  Don't be bitter, as if there is nothing to be bitter about.

I try to keep bitterness to a minimum.  After all, it doesn't do you any good.  But when you start poking at me with the deed, with my refinance hanging in the balance, bitter levels rise a little.  I already lost $400 on a refinance in January that fell through because the broker quoted a rate and then didn't keep it.  Now I'm poised to lose this deal too.

I've sent her one last request, a nice one.  If she still refuses or tries to get me to bleed more, than I'm telling her that I'm either going to closing with the deed, or I'm going to the lawyer to get the deed, the $1,000 judgement she still owes me from the school thing, and the damages from missing closing.